Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
To the lady in the grocery store...
...who saw me with my 2 girls the other day and said, "Your girls are so beautiful... I wish I would have had a girl. All I had were 3 boys and now I have a grandson." Then she kind of pouted. As if, boys are worth nothing?? I'd give anything to have my little boy back. But I will gladly accept God's gift of girls and you won't hear me complaining that I wish I had "a boy." I simply wish I had my Isaac.
Anyway, this is not the first time this has happened. Earlier that same week, I was in the same grocery store and a different lady saw Gianna and said, "She's so cute." I said, "Thank you. She's so sweet, too!" The lady should have smiled and kept her mouth shut. She instead proceeded to say, "Well, after a boy, I'm sure she is! Aren't boys just so ornery?!" I guess she assumed I had a boy before Gianna (on earth). I'm really not sure. She looked familiar, like we might know of each other, but obviously, she doesn't know me very well.
Why is society so fixated on having a boy and a girl?? If I had a penny for every time someone asked me what I was having while I was pregnant with Isaac... When I said, "a boy" already knowing he would not live beyond birth, I couldn't even turn around to walk away before they were chanting out, "Oh! Well, now you'll have a girl and a boy!" What about all the times I have heard other couples say, "We have our girl and our boy, and we're done!" Almost like they're "done" doing the laundry or "done" with the dishes. Done with what, exactly?? I'm not dumb, I know what they mean, but I just don't understand it, that's all. I mean, how can you be "done" with God and His beautiful gifts of children? But, I guess they don't get that, or they would never feel that way.
I just have to end on a positive note. I do have several friends who are, in fact, open to God's will in their lives, especially when it comes to children, and they aren't so concerned with having "one of each." Some had a boy & a girl and continued to have more children. Gasp! Some have all boys and lots of them and they never seem to be envious of me having girls, though I know they'd love to have a few. I, myself, would love to have another boy - I mean, it's my only chance of raising a priest! But, if Mark and I knew for certain that God had no plans of ever giving us another boy, just girls, we will still be open to His beautiful plan for children in our lives. I'm not trying to make us sound like we are perfect and have "it all figured out." We aren't and we don't. But we do know one thing. We have 2 beautiful girls on this earth that God has entrusted to our care and we are so very grateful for that! We pray for His strength and grace needed to raise them to know Him, to love Him and to serve Him!
Anyway, this is not the first time this has happened. Earlier that same week, I was in the same grocery store and a different lady saw Gianna and said, "She's so cute." I said, "Thank you. She's so sweet, too!" The lady should have smiled and kept her mouth shut. She instead proceeded to say, "Well, after a boy, I'm sure she is! Aren't boys just so ornery?!" I guess she assumed I had a boy before Gianna (on earth). I'm really not sure. She looked familiar, like we might know of each other, but obviously, she doesn't know me very well.
Why is society so fixated on having a boy and a girl?? If I had a penny for every time someone asked me what I was having while I was pregnant with Isaac... When I said, "a boy" already knowing he would not live beyond birth, I couldn't even turn around to walk away before they were chanting out, "Oh! Well, now you'll have a girl and a boy!" What about all the times I have heard other couples say, "We have our girl and our boy, and we're done!" Almost like they're "done" doing the laundry or "done" with the dishes. Done with what, exactly?? I'm not dumb, I know what they mean, but I just don't understand it, that's all. I mean, how can you be "done" with God and His beautiful gifts of children? But, I guess they don't get that, or they would never feel that way.
I just have to end on a positive note. I do have several friends who are, in fact, open to God's will in their lives, especially when it comes to children, and they aren't so concerned with having "one of each." Some had a boy & a girl and continued to have more children. Gasp! Some have all boys and lots of them and they never seem to be envious of me having girls, though I know they'd love to have a few. I, myself, would love to have another boy - I mean, it's my only chance of raising a priest! But, if Mark and I knew for certain that God had no plans of ever giving us another boy, just girls, we will still be open to His beautiful plan for children in our lives. I'm not trying to make us sound like we are perfect and have "it all figured out." We aren't and we don't. But we do know one thing. We have 2 beautiful girls on this earth that God has entrusted to our care and we are so very grateful for that! We pray for His strength and grace needed to raise them to know Him, to love Him and to serve Him!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Family Pictures!
We finally had our family portraits taken again. The last time we had one taken was at church on June 27, 2008 (right before Gianna was born). So, needless to say, this picture became outdated almost immediately. See below... I am 39 weeks pregnant here... 
We just took new pictures this past Tuesday. It was a beautiful day (though we would have preferred that it rained!) Click here to view our session...
Thursday, February 26, 2009
A Good Catholic Family
With 2 children (both girls) on earth and 3 souls in Heaven, including our baby boy, Isaac, I feel like this article was written specifically for me...pride and all. And, my sister, who is 5 years younger than me, with 4 children so far, I feel like the last comment was written specifically for her.
Read it for yourself...it was written by Karen Edmisten, http://karenedmisten.blogspot.com/
A Good Catholic Family
We see five kids, or six … or seven. Maybe one on the way. And we know. That’s a good Catholic family.
And they certainly are. Their openness to life is an apparent and beautiful witness. But what of those families whose children number only one, two or three? Are we to surmise anything about them?
The question is more than hypothetical for many. My husband and I, for example, strive to be faithful Catholics, to live out all the teachings of the Faith, including those on marriage and children. We have three children -- on earth. In Heaven there are six other souls whom I hope to meet someday. As we have suffered through miscarriages we have gained powerful prayer warriors in Heaven, but our large family isn't visible to the world. This is painfully clear every time I am confronted by the issue. The questions range from well-meaning to thoughtless (though never, I am certain, ill-willed):
"Do you want more?"
"Are you going to try for a boy?"
"Three? You need more!"
Awhile back I met a friend’s mother, and the conversation turned to children. I had two children at the time and I proudly rattled off my daughters' names and ages. She smiled politely. When another guest mentioned her five children, my acquaintance lit up. "That's wonderful!" she said. "So few people have that many these days!"
Ouch. She didn't mean to hurt me, but her words stung as surely as if she’d slapped me on the cheek. I had just lost a baby two weeks prior. I wanted to shout, "I want more -- I have more! They're in Heaven -- does that count?"
Of course she’d have been horrified to know that her words hurt me and of course I said nothing. Charity often demands silence. And it's worth noting that some of my reaction stems from pride. In the presence of people who value life I want them to know that I value it dearly, too. My openness to life is hidden in Heaven with my babies who (I hope and trust) pray daily for their mother to be less prideful and more able to handle the little stings that come her way. But still ... still ....
It hurts to be judged, yet it can be a vital wake-up call to not judge others. A few years ago I similarly judged an acquaintance. When I overheard her being asked about more children, I dismissed her curt response as that of one who is closed to life. I later found out that she’d been unable to conceive again, and I was jolted back to the reality of my own pain and my uncharitably quick judgment.
"Therefore, do not make any judgment before the appointed time, until the Lord comes, for He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will manifest the motives of our hearts" -- 1 Corinthians, 4:5
I was reminded not to judge by the visible number of children. Good Catholic families come in all sizes and "only" one, two or three children may be the visible sign of parents who have suffered.
Conversely, families with many children can struggle in their own ways with openness to life. Occasionally, mothers-of-many can, during difficult or overwhelming times, feel just as "closed" to life as those who don’t understand Catholic teachings on contraception. It seems a cruel irony that a woman with eight children yells at God for the latest positive pregnancy test on the same day that another woman blames Him for the loss of her baby.
It is not a cruel irony, but a holy one. Only the Lord knows exactly what we need -- He is purifying each of us in His own way, allowing what He knows to be best, as we struggle to understand His movement in our lives.
And so, I turn to Him each day, both to understand His will for our family, and to ask for the grace to avoid judging others unfairly. Having struggled on both sides of the issue, I can say that perhaps the best response, when we hear, "Kids? Yes, we have two," is a simple, "And what blessings they must be!" Then, let's pray for one another. Now, that’s a sign of a good Catholic family.
Jo Flemings said...
I appreciate what you have said here. I am expecting baby #13 and it is no badge of merit of mine by any means. I am undeservingly blessed in this way, but the number of kids I have is no indicator of personal holiness by any stretch of the imagination. I think I would actually be much holier if I had fewer children because I would be more in control of so many things in my life that escape me in the cross bearing aspects of this lifestyle, and you know more hours of consistent sleep, uninterrupted tasks, silence etc all of these things add quality to life that is nonexistent for me in my 25th year of marriage, pregnancy and or nursing a baby. As much as it hurts women who wanted more than God gave to be assessed in their devotion by this external factor it also hurts to be thought of as someone who has some set of virtues or qualities that are assumed a package deal with a large family. It is in Christ alone that our sanctity lies and hopefully we can give Him glory in as many and as varied a number of ways as the expression of His creativity has fashioned our different lives and families.
January 15, 2009 8:53 PM
http://karenedmisten.blogspot.com/2007/08/good-catholic-family.html
Read it for yourself...it was written by Karen Edmisten, http://karenedmisten.blogspot.com/
A Good Catholic Family
We see five kids, or six … or seven. Maybe one on the way. And we know. That’s a good Catholic family.
And they certainly are. Their openness to life is an apparent and beautiful witness. But what of those families whose children number only one, two or three? Are we to surmise anything about them?
The question is more than hypothetical for many. My husband and I, for example, strive to be faithful Catholics, to live out all the teachings of the Faith, including those on marriage and children. We have three children -- on earth. In Heaven there are six other souls whom I hope to meet someday. As we have suffered through miscarriages we have gained powerful prayer warriors in Heaven, but our large family isn't visible to the world. This is painfully clear every time I am confronted by the issue. The questions range from well-meaning to thoughtless (though never, I am certain, ill-willed):
"Do you want more?"
"Are you going to try for a boy?"
"Three? You need more!"
Awhile back I met a friend’s mother, and the conversation turned to children. I had two children at the time and I proudly rattled off my daughters' names and ages. She smiled politely. When another guest mentioned her five children, my acquaintance lit up. "That's wonderful!" she said. "So few people have that many these days!"
Ouch. She didn't mean to hurt me, but her words stung as surely as if she’d slapped me on the cheek. I had just lost a baby two weeks prior. I wanted to shout, "I want more -- I have more! They're in Heaven -- does that count?"
Of course she’d have been horrified to know that her words hurt me and of course I said nothing. Charity often demands silence. And it's worth noting that some of my reaction stems from pride. In the presence of people who value life I want them to know that I value it dearly, too. My openness to life is hidden in Heaven with my babies who (I hope and trust) pray daily for their mother to be less prideful and more able to handle the little stings that come her way. But still ... still ....
It hurts to be judged, yet it can be a vital wake-up call to not judge others. A few years ago I similarly judged an acquaintance. When I overheard her being asked about more children, I dismissed her curt response as that of one who is closed to life. I later found out that she’d been unable to conceive again, and I was jolted back to the reality of my own pain and my uncharitably quick judgment.
"Therefore, do not make any judgment before the appointed time, until the Lord comes, for He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will manifest the motives of our hearts" -- 1 Corinthians, 4:5
I was reminded not to judge by the visible number of children. Good Catholic families come in all sizes and "only" one, two or three children may be the visible sign of parents who have suffered.
Conversely, families with many children can struggle in their own ways with openness to life. Occasionally, mothers-of-many can, during difficult or overwhelming times, feel just as "closed" to life as those who don’t understand Catholic teachings on contraception. It seems a cruel irony that a woman with eight children yells at God for the latest positive pregnancy test on the same day that another woman blames Him for the loss of her baby.
It is not a cruel irony, but a holy one. Only the Lord knows exactly what we need -- He is purifying each of us in His own way, allowing what He knows to be best, as we struggle to understand His movement in our lives.
And so, I turn to Him each day, both to understand His will for our family, and to ask for the grace to avoid judging others unfairly. Having struggled on both sides of the issue, I can say that perhaps the best response, when we hear, "Kids? Yes, we have two," is a simple, "And what blessings they must be!" Then, let's pray for one another. Now, that’s a sign of a good Catholic family.
Jo Flemings said...
I appreciate what you have said here. I am expecting baby #13 and it is no badge of merit of mine by any means. I am undeservingly blessed in this way, but the number of kids I have is no indicator of personal holiness by any stretch of the imagination. I think I would actually be much holier if I had fewer children because I would be more in control of so many things in my life that escape me in the cross bearing aspects of this lifestyle, and you know more hours of consistent sleep, uninterrupted tasks, silence etc all of these things add quality to life that is nonexistent for me in my 25th year of marriage, pregnancy and or nursing a baby. As much as it hurts women who wanted more than God gave to be assessed in their devotion by this external factor it also hurts to be thought of as someone who has some set of virtues or qualities that are assumed a package deal with a large family. It is in Christ alone that our sanctity lies and hopefully we can give Him glory in as many and as varied a number of ways as the expression of His creativity has fashioned our different lives and families.
January 15, 2009 8:53 PM
http://karenedmisten.blogspot.com/2007/08/good-catholic-family.html
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