Sydney read her first chapter book!

Last week, Sydney finished reading The Boxcar Children book #1. She has since finished several other chapter books now that she has it down, but this was officially her first, so, you know me, I had to take a picture! I have to add that she is only 5 and just finished her Kindergarten year, first-grade level. We are so proud of her...

Still waiting...

Just an update to let everyone know that I am doing OK. Both emotionally and, unfortunately, physically (as nothing has happened yet). I plan to give my Dr. a call sometime next week just to see if there is any reason to be concerned at this point. I will try to post updates for those of you praying for me.

Embarrassing video of Gianna...taken on May 20, 2009

I guess we can use this as blackmail or ransom one day...I just hope it's not inappropriate for posting...if anyone thinks it is, please let me know. Honestly, I will remove it if it is!

Here she is in the bathtub sucking her toes. This was the one and only time she has ever done this. And you will be able to see how close she is to flipping over in the tub since my hands were on the camera. A short while later, I was about to take a picture of her, and she really did flip over so I dropped the camera (practically threw it to the floor) so that I could grab her and it ended up causing a "lens error" on my camera, and the lens wouldn't open or shut. Anyway, this video is pretty funny but will probably embarrass her one day!

Some more cute videos...

Ok, by this age, Sydney was saying real words. While Gianna has said a few, too, she mostly just does cute things. Like this, with her little "snake tongue."

What we did on Memorial Day

Memorial Day is very special to me and to my family. Fortunately, it's not because someone close to me has lost his or her life while serving in the military, but simply because we know what it means. We grew up with a Marine for a father. He instilled many morals and values in us, including patriotism. We know that our freedom is not free. It cost a lot. For many, their lives. So, every year on Memorial Day, regardless of what our plans are for the remainder of the day, we start the day off by going to Mass to pray for all of the men and women who have freely given their lives for us and for our country as well as the families they left behind. They made the ultimate sacrifice. The very least we can do is remember. Each year, my Dad reads a long list of names of people from Jackson County who died during each war.

Here are some pictures that were taken at the parish hall, following Mass, where the KCs served everyone breakfast.

Us with my parents.

My sister, Rebecca, with three of her four children and my parents.

Some sad news...

First of all, I want to extend a heartfelt, "Thank You" to whoever reads this. It means you are thinking of us. You are wondering what is going on in our lives. I didn't send this to you to read, you came here on your own. That is why I created a blogspot to begin with. For the convenience of those who want to know what is happening with our family without the inconvenience of me filling up your email inbox each time I need to share our latest news. Now, on to the sad news...

Well, once again, the Lord has given and the Lord has taken away.

He has taken away what was rightfully His, that is. With God's help, we had joyfully conceived another little soul. But we recently found out that this precious baby has indeed died. Now, here I am, waiting. Just waiting for nature to take it's course. Now, I have had some problem pregnancies, to say the least. So far, we have 4 souls in Heaven and 2 on earth. Of the 4 losses, this is surprisingly my first and so far, only miscarriage. And while this is totally different than our loss with Isaac, it is so much more real because of him. The completely different part is that Isaac was alive inside of me until delivery, where he was stillborn. This little one is also inside of me, but no longer living. Of all the misconceptions I had about miscarriage, this has to be the biggest one. I have totally underestimated the level of difficulty in the "waiting."

What I had was a missed miscarriage. I was 8 1/2 weeks along when I started having some "issues." When I went in, they took me straight in for an ultrasound, and the baby was measuring only 6 1/2 weeks, and with no heartbeat. This was devastating...once again. For about a month, Mark & I were so excited that God had blessed us again and so soon. This little one was expected to arrive on December 20th...what an early Christmas present that would be! Gianna would be 17 1/2 months old at that time. So, of course we were also a little nervous, but still so excited! Like all the other times before, we were waiting to tell our immediate family until I was out of my first trimester. But when we found out I had miscarried, we did tell our parents that they now have another little grandchild in Heaven and we asked them to share the news with our siblings for us, and anyone else who they felt moved to tell. So, this is not a secret. But oh, how glad we were that we had not made some big announcement.

I know I will receive some criticism for posting this on our blog and not, at the very least, sending this to our family and friends via email. Some even consider that impersonal. But you know what? I have learned that I cannot please everyone. And blogging is somewhat therapeutic for me and if this is how I choose to share this news, so be it. I remember how difficult it was for me to make that dreaded phone call to each of our moms that day to tell them the news of Isaac when I had gone in for my 20 week ultrasound. Those were, to date, the most difficult phone calls I have ever had to make. I couldn't possibly have been able to call everyone and explain that situation over and over and over. So, I sent out a mass email, pleading for prayers. And I received criticism for that. Then, when we chose not to make a formal announcement of our pregnancy with Gianna, some of our friends never found out about that pregnancy until she was already here. Talk about a shock for some! And I received criticism for that. My goodness! Until they have walked a mile in our shoes, they shouldn't judge how we handled certain situations in our life. And, those same friends remain very special to us, regardless of how "personal" they took things.

Now, back to the missed miscarriage. Basically, my body still thinks I am pregnant. Right now, 10 1/2 weeks. Yes, the baby is still inside of me, only it is not growing and is no longer alive. Once my body figures out it is no longer pregnant, then it will take the necessary steps to "deliver" the baby. I don't know much more than what little I have researched and what others have shared with me. My Doctor is very "natural" and she, herself, has suffered from 6 miscarriages. Since I was so early on in my pregnancy, she seemed to think I had a 99% chance of this resolving itself, without any intervention (i.e. D&C). I was fine with that. I have had a D&C before (before my ectopic pregnancy was diagnosed) and while it is not that difficult of a surgery, it just makes everything so "medical." Not to mention that it is "intervention," which I'm not totally crazy about. But it's been almost two weeks since I met with my Doctor and I really thought things would have happened by now. The hardest part about this for me is being stuck in this "limbo" state of life. I don't feel like I can move on with the grief until we have closure. And we won't have closure until this baby's physical body is out of mine. It is so extremely hard to live life as "normal" and pretend like I am fine. I mean, I am walking around with a dead baby inside of me. It feels twisted. Almost embarrassing. At times, I feel ashamed. I don't understand those feelings, I just feel them. This is not something that is obvious to others who don't know (since they didn't know I was pregnant and I'm not showing) and I certainly don't want to share this to depress them or make them feel bad, so I have to pretend that I am just fine. Isn't that crazy?

So, if you are wanting to pray for us, please pray that God will allow this to happen on it's own and SOON. If it doesn't happen soon, I may have no choice but to have a D&C, due to the risk of infection. I know God has His reasons and Mark & I have been as open and trusting of His plan as we know how to be. But this just doesn't make sense. God has already taken the baby. We are not angry with Him and we have already reached the 7th stage of grief...acceptance. Now why must I have to continue waiting for this to be over? It's torture...

So, while I am waiting, I am praying for our friends who have been struggling with infertility for years. I have already decided to offer up any physical pain I must undergo for those dear couples. Pain is never as bad when you can use it as a form of prayer and turn it into something good. Some of these couples have been struggling anywhere from five to eight years or possibly even more. Two couples, in particular, who happen to be Catholic, are not open to IVF or AI, due to our relgious beliefs. They are, respectfully and admirably, carrying their cross of suffering with infertility and remaining open to God's plan. One of my dear friends shared with me that all she desires is to create a "soul." She knows that if she became pregnant, there would be the possibilty of a loss, but at least she and her husband could, together with God, have created a soul for all eternity. Wow. How many people can truly comprehend such a desire? With so many people in today's society that believe children are a "commodity" that can be purchased at a fertility clinic or disposed of at an abortion clinic or even "controlled" and/or aborted with contraception, there are people out there that still "get it." They realize what a precious gift from God children truly are and that there will forever be a soul for all eternity. One More Soul.....

Ok, back to me. If you are wondering why I am so adamant about this happening naturally, this is why. But only read on if you feel strong enough to do so...it might be TMI (too much information)...

In my brief research the day following the ultrasound, I came across this website called Heaven's Gain. I knew right away that it was a sign from God, because He knows what we need. And I needed this website. I just couldn't imagine the thought of "flushing my baby down the toilet." But I didn't know what else I was going to do. I had never asked anyone else what they did. It's not that I didn't care, I just didn't know. But now I do. And I have much more compassion for those who have lost a baby early on. Now, this is what I have to do. I realize that not everyone does this. But I need to. And if I have a D&C, well this is what will happen. So, at the risk of infertility, I am waiting, so that my baby's remains will be handled respectfully. By the way, we did select a name for this baby, although we are not sharing it at this time. Maybe later, when the time is right.












Thank you for reading this. Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts and feelings with you. Thank you for being interested enough in our family to want to know what's going on with us. Most importantly, thank you for your prayers.

In His Hands,
Jennifer

UPDATE: 5/27, 2:24 PM
I just want to apologize to anyone who has had a miscarriage that either had to have a D&C or did not bury their baby. I do not think you did anything wrong and I certainly don't want to make you feel guilty for anything you did or did not do. I hesitated on even posting this information, for fear that I may offend someone or bring up past hurts, but at the same time I felt this information was important enough in the event that someone else may go through this in the future and otherwise would not know their options. I have had an earlier loss before and at the time was not as educated and I have my regrets. Even when Isaac was born, there were things I was not as educated about as I am now. We learn. We grow. We love. I am simply trying to help others learn, grow and love.

Baby products

For those who know me well, you know I am a research fanatic when it comes to the safety of my children. I, personally, don't think I am a fanatic. I pride myself in being responsible and conscientious. I have always tried my best from the very beginning of their life, to be the best mother I could possibly be for my children. From taking pre-natal vitamins and trying to eat right prior to and during pregnancy as well as avoiding ALL caffeine, alcohol and second-hand smoke, to breastfeeding religiously (continuing to avoid caffeine, alcohol, etc.). I endure natural, unmedicated labor and delivery, so as to avoid any potentially harmful drugs or chemicals that can and will be passed to the baby, just for my comfort level. Then, once I have them safely at home, I do my best to select the safest products on the market, based on ratings and reviews and current safety standards. Really, I am not paranoid. I do know that God is in control. But He also entrusted these children to my care and it is my responsibility to do the best with what I have. So, in my defense, He gave me a brain, and I just try to use it!

In the past seven years, here are just a few things I have thoroughly researched...keep in mind this is years of research, not something I just started obsessing about.

1. Carseats
We always buckle up our children. Sydney outgrew her infant car seat (Graco SnugRide) by height (26 inches) at 5 months! Her weight was probably only around 17 lbs. or so. So, we had to move her to a convertible seat. I found the best one on the market that could stay rear-facing the longest...33 lbs.! That was the Britax Marathon. Sydney stayed rear-facing until she was about 2 years old, once she reached the 33 lbs., and no sooner. She is now in the Britax Regent, at the age of 6 years old (on June 8th). This seat will work for her until she is 80 lbs. or 53 inches!!! Currently, Sydney weighs 50 lbs. and 49 inches. Gianna is small for her age. At her last checkup, she weighed 18 lbs. and measured 27 inches. Even though she doesn't weigh a lot, she has passed up the maximum height for the infant car seat, so it's time to move her to Sydney's Marathon.

Why is facing rearward so important?
"Babies have heavy heads and fragile necks. The neck bones are soft, and the ligaments are stretchy. If the baby is facing forward in a frontal crash (the most common and most severe type of crash), the body is held back by the straps, but the head is not. The head is thrust forward, stretching the neck. Older children and adults wearing safety belts may end up with temporary neck injuries. But a baby's neck bones are soft and actually separate during a crash, and the spinal cord can tear. It's like yanking an electrical plug out of a socket by the cord and breaking the wires.
In contrast, when a baby rides facing rearward, the whole body--head, neck, and torso--is cradled by the back of the safety seat in a frontal crash. Facing rearward also protects the baby better in other types of crashes, particularly side impacts. For more information, go to "Rear-facing vs. forward-facing.""

And, did you know that carseats expire?
Here are a few links about car seat expiration:
Carseat.org - Age of Safety Seats
An Expiration Date on a Child Seat? Huh?
Interesting, but not sure how accurate...

2. Bottles
Even though I breastfeed exclusively for the first 6 months, I have occasionally used a breastpump and given the expressed breastmilk to my babies in a bottle. This is usually reserved for someone else to do. I mean, that's one of the many benefits of breastfeeding - convenience of having milk on demand and not having to use bottles. Anyway, just last year, I came across this information on BPA in baby bottles and formula containers. It didn't affect me at the time, as I did not have a baby and therefore, was not using bottles; however, I knew some people who were. It was too late for me to do anything about the bottles I used for Sydney, but I knew I would need this information soon, with Gianna due to be born in just a few months. I ended up tossing all of my old Avent bottles (from Sydney), returned a few unopened boxes to Target and purchased one 9 oz. Born Free glass bottle. I'm not saying this is the best bottle on the market, just the #1 BPA-free bottle at the time I was shopping. Besides, I rarely use bottles now anyway.

Here is the full report on BPA and baby bottles.
Baby’s Toxic Bott le, Bisphenol A Leaching from Popular Baby Bottles
There are reports out now saying that BPA in baby bottles is nothing to be worried about. See also U.S. FDA. Whatever. I do my best with the information I have at the time. And while I try my best to make informed decisions, as well as pass along any information I find to those closest to me, I try really hard not to push my belief system off on others. Please forgive me if I have...

3. SIDS Prevention
When I was pregnant with Sydney, I came across the Halo Sleepsack Wearable Blankets. We purchased two right away. A yellow one (0-6 months) and a blue one (6-12 months), since we didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl. Once Sydney arrived, we purchased one more. This time a pink one (12-18 months). Not a SIDS cure, but one step in the right direction. We always placed Sydney on her back, even though A) it woke her up from having been asleep in our arms B) she never slept like that for more than 2 hours at a time C) she just didn't like sleeping on her back. We know this, because once she could roll over from her back to her stomach, sometime between 5 and 6 months, she all of a sudden started sleeping through the night. On her stomach. With her sleepsack on.

Last year, shortly after Gianna was born, someone from our community lost their baby to SIDS. He was a healthy 4-month old precious little boy, that died suddenly in his sleep. Having had to see and hold my own dead baby, Isaac, I just couldn't imagine the thought of having to go through that all over again, but this time with a baby that we had several weeks to get to know even better. My heart broke for this family. I cried for them. Once again, I couldn't sleep. I was up at night, holding my own baby, and praying for this family. Even though I didn't know what they were going through or exactly how they felt, I knew it was devastating to them. And now, once again, I had fear that the same thing could happen to my baby. She was already sleeping in her crib at this point, for 4-6 hours at a time. Now, all I wanted to do was hold her all night or at least stay awake and watch her sleep. And when I could, I did. There were times I even noticed her breathing pattern slow to a complete halt and she would lay there, still and breathless, and I would shake her until she moved or grunted and started breathing again. It wasn't until my niece and Goddaughter was experiencing sleep apnea and had to be placed on a monitor to alert her parents if she stopped breathing for 20 seconds, that I found out this is a rather common occurrence in newborns. Their breathing patterns sometimes cause them to stop breathing for 5, 10, even 15 seconds at a time! Scary!! It only poses a problem and becomes severe when they stop for longer than that. SIDS research became my next quest. And it was then that I came across a theory of what might cause SIDS.

Here are some links regarding this theory. You can decide for yourself.
Prevent SIDS website
Prevent SIDS blog

Together, Mark & I decided to go ahead and purchase a Babesafe Mattress Cover. A scam? Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, it wasn't a huge amount of money to debate over. Whether or not this will prevent SIDS, it only cost us $35 for peace of mind. And, believe, me, it was worth every penny. I was able to sleep again, which lowered my anxiety and helped me be a better Mommy!

Now, on to the 4th and most recent research topic.
4. Baby bath products. Yes, that's right, soap, lotion, powder, toothpaste, etc.
For a while, you couldn't even turn on the news or read the paper (neither of which I do) without hearing about all the toxins and cancer-causing agents found in baby soap products. Read the full article here. So, I came across this Safety Guide to Children's Personal Care Products. I need to warn you, though, the Cosmetics Database website can become daunting. There seem to be some discrepancies and contradictions. But I was able to narrow it down to 2 organic baby soaps (shampoo/wash), 1 lotion (not listed on that site) and an herbal insect repellant.

Now, all the research in the world won't prevent bad things from happening. I get that. I also know that we ingest toxins in our food and water, daily. The very water we bathe in is probably loaded with chlorine. I know the air we breathe is polluted. But most of those things are out of my control. I can't worry about them. But, like I keep saying, when information presents itself to me, I have to do what I can do with it. And, if it helps me sleep better at night, then it's worth it to me and to our family.

Just in case you are one of "those moms" who likes to stay on top of baby products on the market, or even if you just want to get honest reviews on a product you are considering buying, you might be interested in this website. It is the ultimate baby products message board where people share ideas, comment on products and get help from other parents. It is actually a forum developed as a supplement to the book, Baby Bargains, by Alan and Denise Fields, which is primarily about how to save $$$ on all the baby products you need for a new baby. It also narrows down the needs from the wants, which we all need to be reminded of from time to time.
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If you have actually read this entire post, you must think I just have way too much time on my hands. Simply not true! The truth is, I have already done the work, bookmarked the sites and tested the products. I am just trying to save someone else the trouble of having to spend the time looking into this. Maybe you think I'm crazy at this point. Obsessive, even. But keep in mind that my goal is to make the best decisions for my children that I can. And I haven't even discussed the most important decisions we make on a daily basis to protect the salvation of their souls...i.e. praying, taking them to Church and receiving the Sacraments. That I will save for another post. Have a great day!

Gianna's 10 month portrait

Here is "the one" scanned in...

Gianna's 10 month proofs

Gianna has decided to stop smiling for professional portraits. I think she is trying to help me out so that I won't be tempted to spend a lot of money. Still getting the $10 package...

Click here to view the entire session, which only consists of about three more pictures.

To the lady in the grocery store...

...who saw me with my 2 girls the other day and said, "Your girls are so beautiful... I wish I would have had a girl. All I had were 3 boys and now I have a grandson." Then she kind of pouted. As if, boys are worth nothing?? I'd give anything to have my little boy back. But I will gladly accept God's gift of girls and you won't hear me complaining that I wish I had "a boy." I simply wish I had my Isaac.

Anyway, this is not the first time this has happened. Earlier that same week, I was in the same grocery store and a different lady saw Gianna and said, "She's so cute." I said, "Thank you. She's so sweet, too!" The lady should have smiled and kept her mouth shut. She instead proceeded to say, "Well, after a boy, I'm sure she is! Aren't boys just so ornery?!" I guess she assumed I had a boy before Gianna (on earth). I'm really not sure. She looked familiar, like we might know of each other, but obviously, she doesn't know me very well.

Why is society so fixated on having a boy and a girl?? If I had a penny for every time someone asked me what I was having while I was pregnant with Isaac... When I said, "a boy" already knowing he would not live beyond birth, I couldn't even turn around to walk away before they were chanting out, "Oh! Well, now you'll have a girl and a boy!" What about all the times I have heard other couples say, "We have our girl and our boy, and we're done!" Almost like they're "done" doing the laundry or "done" with the dishes. Done with what, exactly?? I'm not dumb, I know what they mean, but I just don't understand it, that's all. I mean, how can you be "done" with God and His beautiful gifts of children? But, I guess they don't get that, or they would never feel that way.

I just have to end on a positive note. I do have several friends who are, in fact, open to God's will in their lives, especially when it comes to children, and they aren't so concerned with having "one of each." Some had a boy & a girl and continued to have more children. Gasp! Some have all boys and lots of them and they never seem to be envious of me having girls, though I know they'd love to have a few. I, myself, would love to have another boy - I mean, it's my only chance of raising a priest! But, if Mark and I knew for certain that God had no plans of ever giving us another boy, just girls, we will still be open to His beautiful plan for children in our lives. I'm not trying to make us sound like we are perfect and have "it all figured out." We aren't and we don't. But we do know one thing. We have 2 beautiful girls on this earth that God has entrusted to our care and we are so very grateful for that! We pray for His strength and grace needed to raise them to know Him, to love Him and to serve Him!

Sydney's New "Do"

Well, it's official. We now have a BIG girl in the house. She is 1 month away from turning 6 and in the past 5 days she has lost a tooth and 10 inches of hair! She has been growing her hair out for nearly a year for Locks of Love and with summer just around the corner, she just couldn't wait any longer. As you can see from the pictures, her smile just got bigger and bigger as the haircut progressed.

Our blog on Isaac...

If you are interested in viewing pictures, a video, and eventually, our memories of Isaac, let me know and I will send you an invitation to view our other blogspot - www.isaacmark.blogspot.com. I have set it to private, due to the intense personal nature of the photographs of our precious son. Just send me an email if you would like to be added to our list of viewers. jkallus@sbcglobal.net

2009 Family Photos

Here are our Easter 2009 family photos...

Family Pictures!

We finally had our family portraits taken again. The last time we had one taken was at church on June 27, 2008 (right before Gianna was born). So, needless to say, this picture became outdated almost immediately. See below... I am 39 weeks pregnant here...

We just took new pictures this past Tuesday. It was a beautiful day (though we would have preferred that it rained!) Click here to view our session...

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter, everyone! Isn't this the most wonderful holiday?! Easter Sunday becomes more and more meaningful to me every year! And even though Lent is over, we all know the Easter season is not. Yea!

So, Lent is over. Did you think that is why I am blogging again all of a sudden? I wish I could say that I haven't blogged because I gave up the computer/internet for Lent. Though I wish that were true, I have just been bad at blogging. Even reading blogs. Which is usually why I am bad at blogging. I end up going to other blogs first to catch up on everybody and then I get "lost" and end up running out of time to write/post anything on my own site. Anyway, I actually tried to give up computer time for Lent. I tried very hard. I just find that I depend so much on the computer. It has become for me, a very convenient and money-saving way for me to shop - for diapers, books, gifts, etc. I also use it a lot for homeschooling. And, I most certainly use it to do research. Any time I have a question about ANYTHING, I "google" it. Anyone who knows me well, knows this. I can't stand not having an answer for something! (I'm sure this makes God laugh sometimes...) But I did do good for the Triduum. I pretty much stayed OFF of the computer altogether for those three holy days. And I didn't miss it at all! God is good!

Bad Blogger

Do they have a Bad Blogger award? If they did, I would surely be nominated, and probably even score a lot of votes. But who would even vote? It would have to be the people who view my blog, and if I don't blog, why would they view it?

Gianna's 9 month portrait

Here is "the one" scanned in...

Gianna's 9 month proofs

Here is the one I ordered...

and here are some others I liked...but did not order...

Even though individual sheets are only $4 each (originally $8, but I get BOGO-buy one get one free), I have been doing good by just ordering the $9.99, sometimes $7.99 "package" that comes with 2 8x10s, 2 5x7s, 16 wallets and 16 petites. While this only allows me to get 1 pose (any extra sheets in addition to the package are ridiculously $20), it is the least expensive option (especially since I go every month) and makes the most financial sense. Somehow, I don't think she'll be mad at me when she gets older. =) Click here to view the entire session.

BUSY

What a perfect time of year to read this! Right in the middle of Holy week. I sure needed to be reminded of this, that's for sure!

A friend of mine said, "I don’t think this means we should not do anything, just that we should do all that we do for God, in doing so this should keep our priorities straight…stop doing things that don’t make a difference in the lives and souls around us, and work toward discovering and doing God’s will. In fact, St. Josemaria Escriva says in The Way, “Turn your back on the deceiver when he whispers in your ear, “Why complicate your life?”” You must find the balance!"


BEING B-U-S-Y (The Devil's Convention)

Satan called a worldwide convention. In his opening address to his evil angels, he said "We can't keep the Christians from going to church. We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth. We can't even keep them from conservative values.

But we can do something else. We can keep them from forming an intimate, abiding relationship in Christ. If they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken.

So let them go to church, let them have their conservative lifestyles, but steal their time so they can't gain that experience in Jesus Christ. This is what I want you to do, angels. Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!"

"How shall we do this?" shouted his angels.

"Keep them busy in the nonessentials of life and invent unnumbered schemes to occupy their minds," he answered.

"Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, then borrow, borrow, borrow. Convince the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6 or 7 days a week, 10 to 12 hours a day, so they can afford their lifestyles. Keep them from spending time with their children. As their family fragments, soon their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work."

"Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that small still voice. Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive, to keep the TV, VCR, DVDs, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their homes. And see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical, contradictory music constantly. This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ."

"Fill their coffee-tables with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day. Invade their driving moments with billboards. Flood their mailboxes with junk-mail, sweepstakes, mail-order catalogues and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes."

"Even in their recreation let them be excessive. Have them return from the recreation exhausted, disquieted and unprepared for the coming week. Don't let them go out to nature to reflect on God's wonders. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, concerts and movies instead."

"And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences and unsettled emotions."

"Let them be involved in soul-winning, but crowd their lives with so many causes that they have no time to seek power from Christ. Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause."

It was quite a convention in the end. The evil angels went to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get busy, busy, busy and rush here and there.

Has the devil been successful in his scheme?

You be the judge.

How about this definition of BUSY: Being Under Satan's Yoke

Satan's goal is to take our minds away from Christ and steer us towards the cares of the world. God wants us to enjoy life, but He must be first. If we are too busy for God, then we are too busy!

(Author Unknown)

Gianna's 8 month portraits

Here is the pose I ordered from Gianna's 8 month session...to view all poses, click here...

Gianna is crawling!

Well, she has been for almost 3 weeks now, but here is a 1 minute video we took today.

Some other tidbits:
Started crawling before she could sit up well on her own
No teeth yet (Sydney had 4 by now...)
Still breastfeeding
Well into solids, just haven't started meats yet (yuck!)
Still sleeping 12 hours at night with 2-3 naps during the day
Still sucks thumb only at night, but sometimes while eating

This is what we're doing for Lent!

I just love Karen Edmisten...she is Catholic, has 3 daughters (on earth), all of whom she homeschools, and did I mention she is Catholic?! I always run to her blog when I am in dire need of some quick ideas of things to do during times such as Advent and Lent. For those of you with young children, here are a few great ideas...

http://karenedmisten.blogspot.com/2009/02/meaningful-lent-part-4-lent-with-young.html

A Good Catholic Family

With 2 children (both girls) on earth and 3 souls in Heaven, including our baby boy, Isaac, I feel like this article was written specifically for me...pride and all. And, my sister, who is 5 years younger than me, with 4 children so far, I feel like the last comment was written specifically for her.

Read it for yourself...it was written by Karen Edmisten, http://karenedmisten.blogspot.com/

A Good Catholic Family

We see five kids, or six … or seven. Maybe one on the way. And we know. That’s a good Catholic family.

And they certainly are. Their openness to life is an apparent and beautiful witness. But what of those families whose children number only one, two or three? Are we to surmise anything about them?

The question is more than hypothetical for many. My husband and I, for example, strive to be faithful Catholics, to live out all the teachings of the Faith, including those on marriage and children. We have three children -- on earth. In Heaven there are six other souls whom I hope to meet someday. As we have suffered through miscarriages we have gained powerful prayer warriors in Heaven, but our large family isn't visible to the world. This is painfully clear every time I am confronted by the issue. The questions range from well-meaning to thoughtless (though never, I am certain, ill-willed):

"Do you want more?"
"Are you going to try for a boy?"
"Three? You need more!"

Awhile back I met a friend’s mother, and the conversation turned to children. I had two children at the time and I proudly rattled off my daughters' names and ages. She smiled politely. When another guest mentioned her five children, my acquaintance lit up. "That's wonderful!" she said. "So few people have that many these days!"

Ouch. She didn't mean to hurt me, but her words stung as surely as if she’d slapped me on the cheek. I had just lost a baby two weeks prior. I wanted to shout, "I want more -- I have more! They're in Heaven -- does that count?"

Of course she’d have been horrified to know that her words hurt me and of course I said nothing. Charity often demands silence. And it's worth noting that some of my reaction stems from pride. In the presence of people who value life I want them to know that I value it dearly, too. My openness to life is hidden in Heaven with my babies who (I hope and trust) pray daily for their mother to be less prideful and more able to handle the little stings that come her way. But still ... still ....

It hurts to be judged, yet it can be a vital wake-up call to not judge others. A few years ago I similarly judged an acquaintance. When I overheard her being asked about more children, I dismissed her curt response as that of one who is closed to life. I later found out that she’d been unable to conceive again, and I was jolted back to the reality of my own pain and my uncharitably quick judgment.

"Therefore, do not make any judgment before the appointed time, until the Lord comes, for He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will manifest the motives of our hearts" -- 1 Corinthians, 4:5

I was reminded not to judge by the visible number of children. Good Catholic families come in all sizes and "only" one, two or three children may be the visible sign of parents who have suffered.

Conversely, families with many children can struggle in their own ways with openness to life. Occasionally, mothers-of-many can, during difficult or overwhelming times, feel just as "closed" to life as those who don’t understand Catholic teachings on contraception. It seems a cruel irony that a woman with eight children yells at God for the latest positive pregnancy test on the same day that another woman blames Him for the loss of her baby.

It is not a cruel irony, but a holy one. Only the Lord knows exactly what we need -- He is purifying each of us in His own way, allowing what He knows to be best, as we struggle to understand His movement in our lives.

And so, I turn to Him each day, both to understand His will for our family, and to ask for the grace to avoid judging others unfairly. Having struggled on both sides of the issue, I can say that perhaps the best response, when we hear, "Kids? Yes, we have two," is a simple, "And what blessings they must be!" Then, let's pray for one another. Now, that’s a sign of a good Catholic family.

Jo Flemings said...
I appreciate what you have said here. I am expecting baby #13 and it is no badge of merit of mine by any means. I am undeservingly blessed in this way, but the number of kids I have is no indicator of personal holiness by any stretch of the imagination. I think I would actually be much holier if I had fewer children because I would be more in control of so many things in my life that escape me in the cross bearing aspects of this lifestyle, and you know more hours of consistent sleep, uninterrupted tasks, silence etc all of these things add quality to life that is nonexistent for me in my 25th year of marriage, pregnancy and or nursing a baby. As much as it hurts women who wanted more than God gave to be assessed in their devotion by this external factor it also hurts to be thought of as someone who has some set of virtues or qualities that are assumed a package deal with a large family. It is in Christ alone that our sanctity lies and hopefully we can give Him glory in as many and as varied a number of ways as the expression of His creativity has fashioned our different lives and families.
January 15, 2009 8:53 PM

http://karenedmisten.blogspot.com/2007/08/good-catholic-family.html

Gianna's 7 month portraits

Didn't have a particularly favorite dress or outfit this month, so...

The Catholic Knowledge Bowl

Oh my goodness! We came in 2nd place! I have to throw in that we tied for 1st place, but we missed the tiebreaker question. I think we were all still in shock from realizing that we actually tied for 1st place?!?

For those of you who didn't know, our homeschool group formed a team of 4 homeschooling moms and decided to enter the 2nd Annual Catholic Knowledge Bowl. We were Team #6 (out of 15) and we were called "Leaders of Little Hearts," sponsored by the Immaculate Heart Homeschoolers. We studied (individually) but mostly did it for FUN and to LEARN. The Knowledge Bowl was held yesterday on Sunday, January 25th from 1:30 - 4:30 PM at Holy Family Parish in Victoria.

Our final score was 142 out of 150, not including the tiebreaker question that we missed. Once they post the questions from the competition, I'll post those here so you can see what your Catholic IQ is!

From left to right: Me (Jennifer), Heather, Denise, and Marie

The meaning of Gianna's name

Several people have asked how we came up with the name "Gianna." What a better time to share this than today, January 22nd? Today is the annual March For Life, a march by those who oppose the Supreme Court's Roe v. Wade decision to legalize abortion in the United States.

Well, as all of our friends and family know, we are Catholic. Very Catholic. We believe and profess everything the Catholic Church believes and teaches. We love our faith. We love the very church Jesus Christ established to pass on the truths that He taught.

Along with a love for Christ's Church, we also have a love for the many saints who have lived lives worthy of remembering and honoring. Saint Gianna is one such saint. She is known as the "pro-life" saint. She is the saint we ask to intercede for us when we pray for an end to abortion...when we pray for God's endless mercy upon those mothers and fathers suffering from the effects of an abortion.

Gianna Beretta Molla was pregnant with her fourth child when it was discovered that she had a fibroma, a benign tumor, on her uterine wall. It was suggested that she undergo a surgery that would involve aborting the growing baby inside of her, of which she immediately declined. Instead, she chose surgery that would remove only the tumor, still very aware of the risks involved in this delicate surgery – both to her and to her unborn child. She pleaded with the surgeon to save the life of the child she was carrying, and entrusted herself to prayer and Providence. She was able to carry her baby to term, at which point she was ready to give her life in order to save her child. She is quoted as saying, "If you must decide between me and the child, do not hesitate: choose the child - I insist on it. Save him." On Good Friday, Gianna entered the hospital, and the following morning of April 21, 1962, a lovely, healthy baby daughter, Gianna Emanuela, was born. But the mother had developed a fatal infection - septic peritonitis. (Modern antibiotics most likely would have saved her.) The inflammation caused immense suffering during her final week on earth. In the midst of her terrible pain, Gianna called to her own mother, Maria, who had died in 1942 – and she prayed. On the morning of April 28, amid unspeakable pain and after repeated exclamations of “Jesus, I love you. Jesus, I love you," the mother died. She was 39 years old. The tiny infant, Gianna Emanuela, was exactly one week old.

*For more information and for references, click here:
Saint Gianna Parish
Saint Gianna -- A Model for Mothers


"The canonization of Saint Gianna is the first of its kind. Many mothers have been beatified for their heroic virtues but they entered religious life after becoming widowed. In St. Gianna’s case, the very condition of her being a spouse and mother is being exalted and highlighted. St. Gianna is the first canonized woman physician and professional who was also a “working mom”."
(http://www.saintgianna.org/sainthood.htm)

For those of you interested in the language origin and meaning of the name, "Gianna," it is Italian, with it's origin being Hebrew, which means "God is gracious." It also means "Gift of God." And for everyone who knows our story and journey with Isaac, you certainly know how appropriate the name "Gianna" is for our precious gift (on loan) from God. Our baby girl, Gianna's, middle name is "Faith." It is quite obvious why we chose this name. After enduring the pregnancy with Isaac and then with Gianna so soon after, it required an incredible amount of faith to believe we would actually get to take home a healthy baby girl. We thank God for His gift of Saint Gianna's life and beautiful example of love and sacrifice. We thank Saint Gianna Beretta Molla for the many ways she shared the love of Christ with others so that we may strive for sainthood as she so willingly and successfully did. And we thank God, through His beloved Son, for His Gracious Gift of a child to take home and raise to love and serve Him. With all that said, "Gianna" is not a only a very pretty name for a baby, a little girl, and a lady, but there is much meaning behind it for us as well.

May God bless each of you on this day when we remember that our mothers chose life for us. Please continue to pray for the mothers who find that decision difficult to make.

Jennifer and family

In Memory of

Saint Gianna Beretta Molla

1922-1962

Check out this amazing video!

Click here to view this awesome pro-life video about our new President!

Gianna's 6 month portraits

Here are the actual portraits, scanned in. It's just much better quality, even though my scanner picks up a lot of "extra" spots and smudges. It's a dinosaur...bought it 8 or 9 years ago, but hey-it still works!

Gianna's 6 month proofs

These are some of the cutest she has ever taken! Of course, don't babies just get cuter and cuter. Just when I think, "this is the best stage," Gianna does something so adorable that I change my mind and say, "No, this is the best stage!"